Here are some details on My Approach as a counselor.
Sometimes a client comes to discuss the sudden discovery that they have a difficult illness; sometimes to share the emotions after loss of employment, financial worries, and the death of someone close or the ending of a relationship. In some of these instances once they have aired the feelings and lessened their anxiety they want to finish.
Managing the emotions and feelings that are produced when life gets tough is difficult. We avoid pain by denying, intellectualizing, repressing it or reaching for something to avoid it. In therapy you become aware of the defenses that have served you well in helping to manage your life. As a psychotherapist I draw attention to the feelings, encourage you to experience them, describe them by giving them gentle attention, to sit compassionately with the form and then the story unfolds and there is a release, a relaxation accompanied by a sense of knowing a little more of the self. Change happens with this awareness it doesn’t last if it is forced.
When I sit with you we are ‘in contact’ with each other. I am referring to the intimacy that happens as a result of being with someone in a way that is congruent, warm and non judgmental, accompanying them on their journey. This is part of establishing the relationship.
Confidentiality is so important. The therapeutic environment I provide encourages you to show your strengths again. . You are more than your problem. We have free choice and I encourage the belief that as humans we each know our own life best. I believe as human being we continually striving towards wholeness as life gets in the way. Humans are not machines to be fixed by engineers.
In life we have freedom to respond and as we live in the ‘here and now’ our response to everything depends upon our situation and ourselves, our conscience. We have a ‘response-ability’ and I hope to encourage this in you by drawing attention to your awareness and experimenting with alternative responses. It is important to face the truth and not avoid it. The therapeutic relationship is based on truth; there is no collusion in this partnership.
Most times a person is not logical in the telling of their story but they can follow their feelings. I sit with them in the current moment; I show them how to practice mindfulness. It is in this state that the feelings can be attended to. I give my full attention to my client with openness and compassion together we are building a safe container for our work.
Most clients come to therapy not knowing what they want to explore, work through or discover so I provide the ways of opening up to the inner world of feelings and hopefully they will let go of the hurts. This inner world contains their beliefs and dreams too. The process cannot be forced. Explanations are not necessary, change happens. The clients become aware of himself /herself and her / his existence in her / his world.